Friday 14 March 2014

Confidence | Own It


Hello lovelies, this is going to be a bit of a different blog post, something that really comes from the heart, I hope you like it.

There is no definitive answer to the question 'How can I become more confident?' I just hope the following will open your eyes to my experience and how I overcame some insecurities and how you can help others too.

I was looking at one of my recent blog posts and the feedback I got was really lovely, however I couldn't help but notice a lot of women saying that they don't have the self confidence to wear a bright colour. Whether it be in regards to make up or clothes. 



This brought back distant memories of how I used to be that girl at school / college who had no confidence what so ever. This maybe quite hard for people who have only just met me to understand, as I seem to be that outgoing loud bubbly woman who smacks confidence right round the chops. However this is not necessarily the case. I always think of the the song 'Tracks Of My Tears' to describe how I feel sometimes, as it's saying that no matter what you look like and feel on the outside it might not be what you always feel on the inside!


This post isn't to get sympathy votes, it's just to let you all know that everyone goes through confidence issues. Whether it be through their looks, personality or something else. It's completely normal and everyone handles it in different ways. I look back at old photos of myself when I was 16 - 19 and think to myself why did I feel so insecure?! I was a size 12 with long blonde hair (that I always wore in a ponytail) and curves. What. The. Hell. And I still didn't dare wear a bikini or wear nice fitted clothes. I think to myself if I had that figure now I'd go out butt naked. I'm not even joking. Haha!


I don't know about you, but being insecure makes me think quite irrationallyI was a girl who looked at every other girl and thought why can't I look that good, why can't I have her confidence...why can't my hair look that good....why, why, why. I wouldn't even wear my make up as I thought oh god, what if someone notices my eyeliner is thicker on my right eye compared to my left..Now I laugh and think not only does practice make perfect but this is something that happens to all women and girls alike. Whether you're new to make up or a well seasoned pro!   





Why not?! I asked myself. I thought the only way I'm going to do something about my severe lack of confidence was to do something a little out of my comfort zone each day, to prove to myself that I can be that person if I just put myself out there a bit.

So the very next day I wore mascara (I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me it was huge!) It meant my eyelashes stood out like a sore thumb! I noticed people looking at me a bit different. Instead of just being that girl who had her hair tied back in a ponytail, glasses and no make up. I had something a little different about me. A few people said to me you look different Charlotte, what have you done? I explained that I'd put mascara on and they were so complimentary that I felt awesome! 

So the next day I wore a tinted moisturiser and got the same response...the following day I took a step further and wore a tinted lip balm, it was a snowball effect following that. I became obsessed with make up and that made me feel great! It was this mask that I could take on and off when I pleased and it gave me the greatest feeling ever, something I'd never felt before - confidence.




This is certainly not an answer to everyone's issues on confidence! I'm not saying wear makeup and your confidence will suddenly appear. What I'm saying is, have a goal of what you want to achieve. Whether it be in looks, lifestyle, school - anything. And take little steps in getting yourself to that goal. It's important not to give up on yourself and sometimes putting yourself out there is so daunting it scares you. In those moments, stop take a breathe and own it. Own yourself and control your thoughts and know that your doing this for you and nobody else. Your self confidence will soon grow and trust me, it'll be the best thing you ever do.

So step out of the shadows once in a while and show everyone the real you, what your passions are and shine!



From that day on I never looked back, only forward. Which tended to be in the direction of the make up counters at Boots! I still sometimes have days when I feel insecure so I go straight to my make up draw and pull out my favourite deep pink or red lipstick, wave my magic wand and I'm ready to take on the world. 

Do any of you feel like that when you put on a certain lipstick? If not, why not try it? Post a photo on twitter / instagram and you will get tonnes of love! 

On a final note, I hope this has been helpful to some, but also to the rest of you fabulous women who ooze confidence - I think one thing we can agree on,  is that if it wasn't for people telling me how amazing my mascara looked, or that they loved my lip colour I wouldn't be half as confident as I am now. So whenever I see someone rocking a bold lip or even just a nude pink lip I like to let them know it looks fab! Because at the end of the day I don't know what they are feeling like on the inside so it's also our words that build up peoples confidence as much as their own actions. 

Anyway I've rambled on quite a bit now, so I hope you've enjoyed this post and will spread the love. 

As always, It's been a pleasure. 

Char

xXx


27 comments:

  1. Great post Charlotte, I'm generally very unconfident considering my outgoing nature and bubbly-ness. I'm having crap skin at the moment so wearing makeup and it is making me feel a bit better. When I was working I wore makeup every day but since leaving work (due to health probs) I've let it slide. I do my nails at least 3 times a week and love it so maybe I should go back to wearing makeup more often. I've tons of it so why not wear it?! Xx

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    1. :) thank for you comment hun. I've messaged you back on twitter but seriously do what makes you happy and will build up your confidence!! I completely agree that you should get out the make up again. Enjoy it! xx

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  2. you absolute beaut! :) Confidence comes in many forms and its so important to get out of your comfort zone and like you say, its a snowball effect! haha and in the words of the situation.... If you look good, you feel good!!!!!!!!!!!! haha

    Lucie xx

    Fatbeautyx // Youtube

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    1. Haha! I love you girl!! I swear if I looked in the dictionary under Self Confidence it would be Lucie - +Fatbeautyx - check her out! haha xxx

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    2. haha I love YOU! :D haha yes I do have alot of confidence! Borderline arrogant but in a " yeah I know I'm cool " sort of way hahaha :P

      xxxxxxx

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  3. This is so inspirational! I definitely feel motivated to push myself out of my comfort zone thank you so much :)
    emmasbeginning.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you hun :) it's comments like yours that make my day 😊 xxx

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  4. i think as women we all have are insecurities and struggle with confidence some worse than others, but we can all relate to this post, it's such a lovely and inspiring post.

    Jorden xx

    http://fourbluemondays.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Exactly, everyone is different so I thought if I just show it from my own perspective people will hopefully relate :) Glad you liked it hun xx

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  5. I loved this post...so inspirational. Insecurities and self confidence is something that most of us struggle with.

    Keisha xo
    www.chrysalisgals.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks hun :) Glad you liked it. I really wish women would just take a chance sometimes, I know it's scary -I've been there but want people to realise they aren't on their own! xx

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  6. This is a really lovely post. I love your sentiments at the end - that we should be complimenting each other and helping each other be more confident. The best advice I've ever received to do with confidence was when I started university and was struggling to make friends easily, I was told "you might feel like crap, but fake as much confidence as you can, other people will respond well to you if they think you're easy going and happy, and ultimately that will make you more confident" and I have to say it really really worked! Xx

    kittyhearts.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thank you for your comments hun :) That is such good advice!! As it's so true too! xxx

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  7. Lovely post to read. I am someone that lacks confidence and never does something I want to do because of it :( atm its attending a dance class I don't like being the new one. But post like this really makes me think and gives me a positive mind that I should just bite the bullet Thank you :)

    littlemissdisney.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thank you Chelsea, we all struggle with confidence, it's doing things like dance classes, drama classes - any group activity in general that scare us because we are completely out of our comfort zone. It's key to remember that you are all in the same boat, some may be better than others - but that's what a class is for, it's to learn, build confidence and make new friends. I hope it goes well for you and no doubt you'll be strutting around with oodles of confidence soon! xxx

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  8. great post and amazing advice. I lack confidence a lot and this post made me have a new outlook on it and made me want to try harder to get more confidence.

    birdsofbeauty.blogspot.com

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    1. hey hun, thank you for your lovely comments. Just remember everyone goes through the same thing at some point or another. It's you and the people you hang around with that will grow your confidence. So just remember to surround yourself with positive lovely people and you wont go wrong :) xxx

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  9. Hi Charlotte, thanks so much for such an honest and open post, we need more discussions on self confidence and self love. So many of the ladies we chat to are struggling with the idea of themselves, a feeling that they're really not quite enough and that things need to be fixed somehow. There is so much shame and discouragement, altered images that trick the eye and ideals of beauty that are set by someone else's standards. We feel passionately about skin health and celebrating each other as individuals, we believe that you shaped you that is celebrated, loved and honoured is an incredible beautiful thing.
    Thanks again!
    N x

    www.happyremarkableyou.com

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    1. I completely agree, there are so many factors out there that really put a lot of pressure on women to look a certain way, that girls aren't confident about the way they look. We need to know how to embrace ourselves and not have this ideal of what we should look like. Thanks for the comment xx

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  10. Honestly, the mist inspiring post I've read in a long time, really enjoyed reading this.
    In high school i was the nerdy girl who stuck out like a sore thumb anyway so at first I didn't wear makeup but then I thought "why can't I look good too" and since I was 14, I've started wearing makeup and now, by practising, my friends, family and college tutors have realised that I'm good with it and I was asked to do makeup for a photo shoot in college.
    I didn't gain confidence miraculously overnight. I gained confidence through self-love and never giving up.

    Truly inspiring post, thank you.
    Hannah xo

    wink-beauty.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much for your wonderful comments hun, so true! xx

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    2. This is a really lovely post. One of the aspects of blogging that I love so much is that lots of people are really striving to help others through their posts, and this is just one example. I really enjoyed reading it. Here's to helping others!

      I have followed you via Bloglovin!

      Kathryn xx

      Bit of a Freak | UK Beauty and Lifestyle Blogger

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    3. This is so true hun, I've noticed more and more people lacking confidence lately and just wanted to share the love! Thank you xxx

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  11. I really love this post! I have always had confidence issues and I am slowly but surely getting to terms with ways I feel confident! Really enjoyed this post darling! New follower!

    Rachael x
    All The Little Things x | Rachael McClenaghan

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    1. Thank you so much honey!! You work it - own your confidence! xxx

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  12. Loved this, kudos to you lady! X

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