Hello lovelies, this is going to be a bit of a different blog post, something that really comes from the heart, I hope you like it.
There is no definitive answer to the question 'How can I become more confident?' I just hope the following will open your eyes to my experience and how I overcame some insecurities and how you can help others too.
I was looking at one of my recent blog posts and the feedback I got was really lovely, however I couldn't help but notice a lot of women saying that they don't have the self confidence to wear a bright colour. Whether it be in regards to make up or clothes.
This brought back distant memories of how I used to be that girl at school / college who had no confidence what so ever. This maybe quite hard for people who have only just met me to understand, as I seem to be that outgoing loud bubbly woman who smacks confidence right round the chops. However this is not necessarily the case. I always think of the the song 'Tracks Of My Tears' to describe how I feel sometimes, as it's saying that no matter what you look like and feel on the outside it might not be what you always feel on the inside!
This post isn't to get sympathy votes, it's just to let you all know that everyone goes through confidence issues. Whether it be through their looks, personality or something else. It's completely normal and everyone handles it in different ways. I look back at old photos of myself when I was 16 - 19 and think to myself why did I feel so insecure?! I was a size 12 with long blonde hair (that I always wore in a ponytail) and curves. What. The. Hell. And I still didn't dare wear a bikini or wear nice fitted clothes. I think to myself if I had that figure now I'd go out butt naked. I'm not even joking. Haha!
I don't know about you, but being insecure makes me think quite irrationally. I was a girl who looked at every other girl and thought why can't I look that good, why can't I have her confidence...why can't my hair look that good....why, why, why. I wouldn't even wear my make up as I thought oh god, what if someone notices my eyeliner is thicker on my right eye compared to my left..Now I laugh and think not only does practice make perfect but this is something that happens to all women and girls alike. Whether you're new to make up or a well seasoned pro!
Why not?! I asked myself. I thought the only way I'm going to do something about my severe lack of confidence was to do something a little out of my comfort zone each day, to prove to myself that I can be that person if I just put myself out there a bit.
So the very next day I wore mascara (I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me it was huge!) It meant my eyelashes stood out like a sore thumb! I noticed people looking at me a bit different. Instead of just being that girl who had her hair tied back in a ponytail, glasses and no make up. I had something a little different about me. A few people said to me you look different Charlotte, what have you done? I explained that I'd put mascara on and they were so complimentary that I felt awesome!
So the next day I wore a tinted moisturiser and got the same response...the following day I took a step further and wore a tinted lip balm, it was a snowball effect following that. I became obsessed with make up and that made me feel great! It was this mask that I could take on and off when I pleased and it gave me the greatest feeling ever, something I'd never felt before - confidence.
This is certainly not an answer to everyone's issues on confidence! I'm not saying wear makeup and your confidence will suddenly appear. What I'm saying is, have a goal of what you want to achieve. Whether it be in looks, lifestyle, school - anything. And take little steps in getting yourself to that goal. It's important not to give up on yourself and sometimes putting yourself out there is so daunting it scares you. In those moments, stop take a breathe and own it. Own yourself and control your thoughts and know that your doing this for you and nobody else. Your self confidence will soon grow and trust me, it'll be the best thing you ever do.
So step out of the shadows once in a while and show everyone the real you, what your passions are and shine!
From that day on I never looked back, only forward. Which tended to be in the direction of the make up counters at Boots! I still sometimes have days when I feel insecure so I go straight to my make up draw and pull out my favourite deep pink or red lipstick, wave my magic wand and I'm ready to take on the world.
Do any of you feel like that when you put on a certain lipstick? If not, why not try it? Post a photo on twitter / instagram and you will get tonnes of love!
On a final note, I hope this has been helpful to some, but also to the rest of you fabulous women who ooze confidence - I think one thing we can agree on, is that if it wasn't for people telling me how amazing my mascara looked, or that they loved my lip colour I wouldn't be half as confident as I am now. So whenever I see someone rocking a bold lip or even just a nude pink lip I like to let them know it looks fab! Because at the end of the day I don't know what they are feeling like on the inside so it's also our words that build up peoples confidence as much as their own actions.
Anyway I've rambled on quite a bit now, so I hope you've enjoyed this post and will spread the love.
As always, It's been a pleasure.
Char
xXx
